Try to log into Coinbase after a time, jump through hoops as two factor authentication app was lost on a phone long ago, fail, try to contact support, get fucked around, give up.

Eventually after some weeks someone from their support department finally helps me out and the account is fixed, hooray! TheirĀ support department must be like, one person.

Time passes.

Decide to sell bitcoin, login successfully, hooray!

Click sell. 'Selling is not supported in your country'.

Right, I will transfer it somewhere more friendly, then.

'Your transaction is delayed for 72 hours to make sure it's legitimate'

Are you fucking serious.

Look at Coinbase support page - omfg - the last thing they want is you contacting support.

FU Coinbase. I hope you die in a fire.

I almost re-signed up to Twitter JUST to bitch about Coinbase - but every single username in existence is already taken on Twitter, so I guess not. Oh well.